I got inspired to write this while sitting in the park, involuntarily eaves dropping on a conversation by two girls…“not saying no to sex does not mean yes!” said the one, “but if it’s your boyfriend then you should have a system of consent”.

This line is what caught my attention… and I began to think…what does this even mean? A system of consent…and how would it work? Would it mean creating some secret language where one partner understands that giving that signal means no or yes… what about… Maybe… what would the sign for maybe be? How would it work? And what happens if the signal was not interpreted correctly? How will the rules be negotiated?

What the hell is a SYSTEM OF CONSENT???

And who would be taking the role of consenting versus the agent seeking consent…?

While listening…rather eaves dropping… on this conversation left me very frustrated and with more questions about this whole ‘system of consent’ business. I mean since when do we need an elaborate system of consent, how about NO when I don’t want to and YES when I want to and MAYBE when I need some convincing?  Is this not a system of consent? I had so many questions I wanted to ask these girls and perhaps have a discussion with them about this… but I remembered… I was eaves dropping…so I remained invisible, lay back on the grass and pondered about my life…

so what is a system of consent to you? holla at your gurl!!!